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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29603808">wishing you were here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/huhyouexist/pseuds/huhyouexist'>huhyouexist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Azula's really sad, Death, F/F, Kinda, Loss, Mourning, and has to deal with seeing ty lees sisters, i wrote this in like 2 hours, just ambiguous really, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:40:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29603808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/huhyouexist/pseuds/huhyouexist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ty Lee dies first, and Azula has to deal with the funeral.</p>
<p>inspired by @azulaswh0re tweet</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>wishing you were here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a mess, im a mess, everythings a mess. dont judge me too much for this one.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Azula had never felt so cold.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything was wrong. Nothing felt right anymore. Her clothes didn’t feel comfortable, her sheets weren’t inviting, the food she ate wasn’t appetizing. Even the air she breathed was suffocating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mai finds her limp in her sheets, not at all looking comfortable. The heavy bags under her eyes told her of her restless nights, her disheveled hair speaks to the fact that she hasn’t gotten up all morning. The numbness in her eyes shattered Mai’s heart along with Azula’s.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The funeral is today.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mai refused to let her concern show. If she did, then it only became all the real.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Go away.” Azula mumbles, dead to the world as she rolls onto her other side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“As your Princess I command you to leave this room at once.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Just go. I don’t want to be there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But she would.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Silence. Mai sighs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t force you to go. I neither have the authority or strength over you to do that, but this is wrong Azula. She would want you to be there, not withering away in your room like you have been for the past 4 days.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have no right to tell me how I should feel.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what I’m saying, Azula. I’m saying you need to be there. Everyone else feels exactly how you do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No you don’t.” Azula says, voice thick with mourning but still powerful enough to send a spike of fear through Mai. “You didn’t love her like I did.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mai winces slightly. That was probably the wrong choice of words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right. I didn’t, but I still loved her. She was my best friend.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And she was my </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Which is why you need to be there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t listen to them speak of her. I won’t, Mai.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t make me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I could have the Firelord decree it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care. He can banish me if he wants.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was the worst Azula has ever been. Not even her mental breakdown all those years ago could compare to the state the prodigy was in. At least then, Azula would show some kind of emotion. Now she quite literally looked dead herself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine.” Mai says. “Don’t come, but Zuko needs you. He needs someone at his side other than me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula’s silence spoke more than her words. Her body, even facing away from Mai, radiated sorrow that not even Mai and Zuko combined could match.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ty Lee’s death hit them all hard. To make it worse, it was slow, and no doubt painful. The sickness she had, while they thought it was nothing at first, seemed to change overnight, and suddenly her health declined over two weeks' time. Her once strong yet nimble body deteriorated, her skin became pale and the sparkle in her eye began to die out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The worst part was watching Azula have to go through it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The fire bender, for as cold and harsh as she seemed on the outside, was surprisingly mellow. Something Ty Lee had brought out of Azula. Her shining achievement, if one were to ever ask Ty Lee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula would try anything. She would </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>anything. For those two weeks she stayed with Ty Lee, made sure everyone was on high alert in case something happened, and that they had the best doctors and nurses the world could offer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Katara finally arrived at the eve of the first weeks’ end, she came out with no results, and a solemn frown.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“She doesn’t have long.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Those four words had broken Azula. Everyone saw it, in that moment, just how Azula’s mind snapped once more. Though she didn’t lash out, or start hurling fire wherever she so pleased, she was clearly losing her mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko and Mai tried to console her, but nothing worked. The only time Azula seemed to be remotely better was when she was with Ty Lee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The brunette put on a brave face for her wife. Smiling and telling her everything’s going to be fine, even when they all knew the truth. Ty Lee was dying, and she was going fast. Every day she looked worse and worse, but no one dared make a comment on it, lest they want the Azula from Sozin’s Comet to return.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They didn’t see it coming though, when it really happened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One day, Azula woke up, laying next to Ty Lee in their bed, only to realize how cold she was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula’s scream had woken everyone that day, and it took Zuko and 10 other skilled fire benders to put out the fire around the bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After they had taken Ty Lee’s body away that morning, no one dared enter the Princess’s chambers unless it was to deliver her food. And even then, some just left it outside her door to be collected, not wanting to risk a potential injury.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And now here they were, four days later, a funeral in an hour, and Azula hadn’t even gotten out of bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mai turns to leave, but just as she turns the knob to the door, she hears the sound of shifting  from the bed. She turns to see Azula sitting up, her body facing away from Mai and towards her vanity on the right. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Through the small opening between where her bangs hung and her hair flowed, Mai sees the glistening of a tear streaming down Azula’s cheek.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s the first time Mai’s seen her cry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>White seems wrong for such a gloomy occasion. That’s what Azula ponders on the palanquin ride to the Garden of Tranquil Souls. Though their tradition called for it, Azula can’t help but feel it’s too bright a color for such a depressing and mournful time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, she doesn’t really care either.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they arrive, Azula notices the people in the distance first, behind gravestone after gravestone. Most were kept in pristine condition, seeing as this was the burial place for Fire Nation Royalty, but a few stones that had grown old over the centuries had started to break apart or mold beyond renewal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ty Lee’s sticks out too much. It’s so bright, still in such mint condition.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not really registering their faces, Azula makes her way past the few people attending this funeral. There only so many that could truly claim to know Ty Lee, and be worthy to attend this precession.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula doesn’t care about any of them. All she can bear to look at is Ty Lee’s casket, closed and waiting to be lowered into the ground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A gentle hand places itself on Azula’s shoulder, and she jumps, flinching away from it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Princess?” A soft voice speaks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula’s eyes widen. It couldn’t be. There’s no way it could be her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ty Lee?” Azula starts, turning around, and sees Ty Lee standing before her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Only, there’s actually six of her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alright, it’s official. Azula’s hallucinating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...No, Princess. My name is Ty Woo. Ty Lee’s sister.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Right.” Azula mumbles, casting her attention downward. “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright. Believe me, we understand.” Ty Woo consoles. “We just wanted to say thank you for being here. Ty Lee loved you, and I’m sure she’d be happy that you were here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula already knew that. In fact, she wants to scream at them that she knew that, but that would mean looking up and having to see their faces. Azula wasn’t going to do that. Instead, she merely gives them a nod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. It’s about to start.” One of the other sisters says. “We should probably go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sisters leave, moving to step away from the casket, but Ty Woo stays, concerned for the Princess. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright, Princess?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of course she was not alright. She was attending her wife’s funeral and was now being forced to talk with her identical twin sister who if Azula looked up at would feel millions of different stabs to her heart at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She’ll be okay.” Mai’s voice joins in, and Azula feels a study hand placed along her shoulder. “You should go join your sisters.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Of course.” Ty Woo says, bowing to the princess and Fire Lady before stepping away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as she’s out of sight and ear shot, Azula makes a move to start walking. “I’m leaving.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No you’re not.” Mai says, grabbing her arm and keeping her in place. “You’re already here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t do this. Not when there are six people who look </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly </span>
  </em>
  <span>like her, Mai.” Azula says sharply.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You think that’s their fault?” Mai whispers harshly, not wanting to make a scene. “You think anyone here is enjoying having to look at them and be reminded of Ty Lee’s face?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then, Mai lets go of Azula’s arm, and although Azula is free to make a break for it, she’s too stunned to move her feet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not the only one suffering Azula. Think about someone other than yourself for once.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula snaps, grabbing onto Mai’s robes and pulling her down to meet Azula’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare </span>
  </em>
  <span>insinuate I didn’t care about her.” Azula threatens. “I would have taken her place in a heartbeat if I could, and you have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>nerve </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say that I only think of myself?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Wrong choice of words.” Mai mutters. “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a huff, Azula pushes her back, and Mai fixes her outfit. She shoves past her moments after doing so, not saying a word.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All throughout the proceedings, Azula finds it hard to focus on anything but the ground. For some reason, Ty Lee’s sisters had chosen to stand directly opposite of Azula, so if she looked up, she'd see six twins who looked exactly like Ty Lee. She couldn’t even move because this is where Zuko chose to stand, and Azula and Mai were bound by their positions to stay at his side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then the Firelord is asked to say a few words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He steps forward, taking a breath that Azula is hyper sensitive to hear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ty Lee was the embodiment of a Princess.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula pivots, already deciding she can’t stand to hear this, but Zuko grips her hand, making her pause.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It squeezes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please stay.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula, shocked by her brother’s actions but not allowing it to show, stays in place, making no move to change directions. To everyone else, she looks as numb as she feels.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew Ty Lee for a long time, ever since we were children, and nothing could wipe the smile from her face. Even though she fought in a war, not meant for someone so young as her, she never stopped smiling, because that’s who she was. A ray of sunshine in our once rotten nation.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula recalls their time together hunting the avatar. She was so cruel to Ty Lee then. Lying and using her to do her every bidding. Zuko was right though, she did it all with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lots of people don’t realize though, that Ty Lee was more than just a smile. She was strong, and one of the most skilled fighters I have ever seen. She was smart too, even outwitting Azula on more than one occasion, though Azula would never admit that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time in four days, Azula’s lips turn upwards ever so slightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She was everything good about the world. She helped people, and she loved them. She laughed with them, cried with them, and shared their pain even though she had so much of her own.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azula feels her eyes sting with the oncoming threat of tears. She couldn’t cry here. She wouldn’t let herself cry here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Every day I am thankful to her. She brought my sister back to me, even though she was so far gone. She had the strength to do that, whereas everyone else didn’t even try. She’s one of the best people I have ever, and will ever know, and I will never forget her. I couldn’t even if I tried.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko steps back. Azula could feel it in the way her hand moved with his, and how it gripped tighter. Azula doesn’t move. She can’t. If she does, then she’s certain she would break.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for those words, Firelord Zuko, we will now commence with the burial…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man's voice fades away, and suddenly there's a ringing in her ears. Looking up, she tries to make sense of what’s happening, but almost immediately her eyes catch Ty Woo’s.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She gives Azula a smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All Azula sees is Ty Lee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yanking her hand out of Zuko’s grip, Azula takes off, not caring where she ends up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No one tries to follow her.</span>
</p>
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